Out of Time

Who ever invented the pee on a stick pregnancy test was obviously not left isolated. Just do it I told myself. This is not rocket science, or maybe it was somehow related to rocket science, its material and chemicals used to make it. Okay! No more procrastinating! My inner monologue continued. It’s either yes or no, there’s no maybe so get it over with. The directions stated to use the test first thing in the morning, so by now I was more than ready to go. I did exactly as directed, then looked at the clock in the bedroom. I had three minutes to wait before checking the test. What to do.

I sat on the bed. Don’t peak, don’t peak. How long can three minutes take? Apparently a life time if you’re waiting for something as life changing as bringing a new life into the world. I looked out the window. I could hear my mother saying who would ever want to bring a child into this world? I brought you into this world I can take you out of it.

I sat looking, doing nothing, worrying about everything. I’d give anything to go back and follow the directions on my contraceptive as well as the ones on the pregnancy test.

It was like a timer went off in my head. Time to check. Check my time. Check out time. time out. Out of time, plus or minus time.

- B. Kallfelz