Positive

My husband and I had been trying to get pregnant for years. For the weeks prior I had been feeling ill and chalked it up to stress and a stomach bug. One morning, to put my nagging doubts to rest, I pulled out my last two back y-pregnancy tests. I had promised myself previously, that I would not subject myself to any more heartache and disappointments, but the nagging doubts would not go away. So that fateful morning, I go to the bathroom, whip out my test stick and try. “Why do I do this to myself?” I asked as I saw the test return to a negative result. I turned around and went downstairs for a cup of coffee. Later that same day, finally having composed myself, I go upstairs and use the bathroom. “Funny,” I thought, when I realized I had been so upset that I did not dispose of the test stick. As I go to throw it out, something new caught my eye, and I stand, dumfounded, at the little plastic stick. I caught a glimmer of huge excitement. I reached for the second test stick and try again, and amazingly, it came back with a positive result! I couldn’t contain my excitement and I stood there, gawking at the two positive test strips—these same test strips had repeatedly ripped my heart out, finally gave me the true thing to look forward to. Those few minutes I waited for that second line to appear on that strip was eternal and will forever be exciting to me as it was that morning.

-Barbara Kennedy