Harrowing

1

Every woman has a story

It’s Not how you tell it,

it’s how you live it!

This is how I lived mine thus far…

An angel until 3 days old and adopted.

Things I’m afraid of, yet working On.

These aren’t things for your sorrow,

Nor your sympathy,

I’m just speaking the truth.

Yes, all this happen to me.

I go daily in raging silence…

The memories beat in my head like percussions.

People say violence is a choice,

But for a child, helpless, it was a way of life,

Or later On, the tiny, petite woman, a way

to survive.

Unable to defend or strike back

He always slammed me with his fist~

Over and over I was beat.

As a child being locked in a tiny, dark

cellar, finding safety in the rags

As an adult sent to the hospital many a times,

almost losing our unborn child.

2

Always @ the dinner table I’d be forced

to eat as the blood trickled down my face.

Forcing me to play “house” or raping me…

Leaving me shamed and close to death a few times.

Though I’ve tried to erase the early morning

attacks, degrading words, “You were a murderer from the day you were born!”

what about the him getting kicked out of the hospital?!?!

The dr’s are ready to diagnosis anything and

“medicate.”

Hush, hush, don’t say a word, don’t breathe the truth.

“Gifted,” smarter than imaginable,

Yet, counselors @ school want to know why I’m

always quick to say something, ready to fight.

I couldn’t take it anymore.

I ran away, got pregnant, grown,

running around crazy, violent, involved in a gang,

who am I…*Now I live my life in prison.*

The memories from the abuse as a child to the

domestic violence of teenagers’, child’s father,

they run deep, deeper goes the pain~

The roots of my violence began that day

my mom died and my father gave me away

(w/out a fight).

You see as a child, I had No choice, No alibi,

As an adult I was lost inside and couldn’t get away.

3

Today, it’s a wonder how I survived.

As I got older, the less patience I had

for any type of abuse.

The sad, unfortunate end result is where I am

today…Ø-969522.

A mother whose Never had a chance to know life

or the child she bore.

Facing a life sentence until 9 yrs. later…

the verdict 20 yrs. instead.

Loneliness and rejection inside as my only 2 friends;

Do I forgive those “suppose” to be parents? The

husband that beat me? What about all the

others that have violated me?

It seems as if this hatred, low self-esteem and

violence will Never end.

Hating authority, life taken away, there

was No conscious~taking on the

ofc, sgt’s, col’s, and warden, 15 yrs.

running Concurrent and Now it’s 30 yrs.

A lifetime of yrs. later after being issued

that #, I lost a great portion of my life

(which today I find so precious).

There’s Nothing in this place I haven’t experienced

or done~I’m Not proud of some,

others I am.

You think this is easy, some type of joke,

4

I challenge you, go ahead~look deep into

my eyes. I guarantee if you look hard

enough you’ll see, then feel all the years

of invasion and violence, then the sorrow,

its painful roots in me…

Abduction of Innocence-Pre-mediated,

1st Degree murder, dangerous act w/ a deadly

weapon associated w/ a gang.

You look @ me today and you’d Never

believe. After many ups and downs, falls

trials, and all the experiences I Needed to

know me. Taking every class to better

me and giving myself to God~having

faith in God and in me!!! Acceptance

and forgiveness-the mask is removed,

the past remains, my future is

New. Today I’m Not only free

inside, I’m On the other side

the razor wire known today

as Robyn Kymberlynn Kraholik!!!!

PO Box 303

Safety Harbor, FL

34695

-Robyn Kraholik