99 Bananas

Okay, so picture it… me coming off of methadone. Completely dope sick. Had been fore months! SEVEN MONTHS. I know what you’re thinking and yes it may have been in my head but either way…it sucked. My husband’s patience was increasingly running out as he had been taking care of our boys (4 and 6 at the time) for months with no help from me. I has gone from superman to man who occasionally comes out of the bedroom in a robe to profusely apologizing for the sheer suckiness of her being. It occurs to me that there may be something wrong other than the methadone withdraws. So I finally go to the doctor. For the first time being completely honest and utterly desperate. Surprisingly, the doctor refers me to mental health. He also prescribes Reglan, an anti-nausea medication. So, of course I being the addict I am take half the bottle because I’m sure they are similar to their sister drug Finergan and will make me sleepy. All I want is to escape my hellish reality into oblivion.

Later that night Chris comes home from work. Unsurprisingly, I am in the bed. He greets me with a, “Hello” and proceeds to do his duties of cooking and helping the boys with their homework almost completely ungrudgingly.

I start to notice my head moving slowly but surely up and to the right. It is at first so subtle that I’m sure I’m imagining it. When Chris walks into the room I feel I have to tell him. Keep in mind he is starting to really believe I’m completely insane and maybe even possessed as we have been watching several paranormal shows. I say, “Baby, Listen…um…my head keeps moving up and to the right.” He looks at me in utter disbelief and says, “Brittany, I’m busy COOKING FOR OUR CHILDREN!” As time goes on it is progressively getting worse. He angrily tries to massage my neck...nope. I try to take a bath unsuccessfully. A month or so ago I had broken my ankle in an attempt at drunk skim-boarding. Three words – Ninety-nine Bananas. Also just to paint a clear Picture, we are drinking to mask our pain. Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. Drink of choice you ask? Four lokos and tilts. One particular tilt is a brilliant purple, and for some reason stains my lips as that. So… I have a limp, bright purple lips, and my head is stuck in an up and to the right position. As the night goes on it is clear that this “situation” is getting worse. I am convinced it is cerebral palsy. I knew I was sick.

- Brittany